Go Tokyo Your Experience
From Perfectionism to High Achievement: How to Learn to Let Go of Yourself
Perfectionism may sound like a strength at first glance. It represents high self demand, pursuit of perfection, and striving to avoid any mistakes to the best of one’s ability. This trait seems to bring positive effects in the workplace, academic or personal development. However, behind perfectionism often lies deep anxiety and inner fragmentation. Those seemingly perfect appearances are actually constantly self harming with a ‘perfect’ blade. It wasn’t until I encountered the term ‘high achiever’ that I truly began to understand how to let go of myself.
The Prison of Perfectionism
Once, I was also a perfectionist, striving to achieve the externally defined ‘perfect life’ with all my might. From appearance to profession, from lifestyle to social circle, I constantly raise my standards, hoping to meet society’s expectations for ‘perfection’. Especially in terms of female identity, I not only need to have a successful career, but also conform to the concept of “new era women” and possess the virtues of traditional family values. However, the harsh reality has made me deeply realize that the so-called ‘perfection’ is an unattainable fantasy.
The pressure of perfectionism not only comes from external expectations, but also from the insatiable desire within. No matter how much achievement I have made, I always fail to see my own strengths and instead fall into deep self blame and anxiety due to being imperfect time and time again. Gradually, my self blame reached its peak, almost pushing myself to the brink of collapse.
Pursuing the illusion of perfection
The double blow of a workplace crisis and a breakup made me start to re-examine my perfectionism. During a conversation with a friend, I realized for the first time that there is no such thing as’ perfection ‘in the world. I am like a fish chasing after false bait, struggling my whole life for an unattainable goal. So, I decided to put aside my identity as a “perfectionist” and choose to be a “high achiever”.
High achievers: pursuing achievement rather than perfection
High achievement and perfectionism share similarities, but the key difference lies in their sources of motivation. Perfectionists often act out of fear, afraid of failure, afraid of making mistakes, and even afraid of not being able to meet the high standards they set for themselves. High achievers, on the other hand, strive because of their “desire”, enjoying every step towards their goals and finding happiness and satisfaction from it.
1. Use perfection as a driving force rather than a goal
Perfectionists see “perfection” as the ultimate goal that must be achieved, so they often feel doubled pressure, and any small mistake can become a sign of complete failure. And high achievers see perfection as a driving force. They still set high standards, but place more emphasis on the process of achieving goals rather than blindly pursuing perfection in the results.
2. Value the process and enjoy every step forward
Perfectionists often set their goals too high and overlook the rewards of the process, leading them to always feel that they are ‘never good enough’. Although high achievers also set high goals, they pay more attention to every small progress in the process and know how to give themselves affirmation and encouragement at every stage, thus maintaining a positive attitude.
3. Positive thinking, focusing on progress
Perfectionists are usually very strict with themselves and others, and are particularly prone to falling into the habit of self blame or nitpicking others. They habitually only see problems and shortcomings, ignoring their own efforts and achievements. On the contrary, high achievers tend to think positively. They know how to take pride in their efforts and progress, and even see their shortcomings as a driving force for improvement, pushing themselves to constantly improve.
Learn to let go of yourself
The transition from perfectionist to high achiever taught me how to reconcile with myself. Pursuing perfection is not a mistake, but if we make it our only goal, it can actually lead us into a vicious cycle of anxiety and self doubt. Learning to enjoy the process and seeing every effort and progress is the true achievement worth pursuing.
No longer pursuing eternal perfection, but learning to accept an imperfect self is the most important issue in life. Becoming a ‘high achiever’ allows us to maintain high standards while also constantly finding inner balance and satisfaction.