Go Tokyo Your Experience
Recently, Nicole Kidman gave an interview to British GQ, sharing her emotional journey in her new work “Babygirl.” In this film, Kidman plays a CEO in her fifties who, despite appearing to have a harmonious family life, feels deeply dissatisfied inside. Ultimately, she embarks on an extramarital affair with a twenty-something intern. Despite the fact that this relationship could threaten her marriage and family, she feels unable to extricate herself.
Kidman has already achieved great success; why choose to star in such a bold film? She stated that this film explores important issues regarding women and addresses her thoughts on “courage” after experiencing life, aging, illness, and death.
At 40 years old, her acting career was limited, but she resolutely set up her own studio and released one successful film after another.
The story of “Babygirl” focuses on a woman struggling between the roles of “good mother” and “good wife,” while unable to escape her innermost desires. In the film, Kidman fully commits to the BDSM scenario, showcasing her unreserved acting skills. She candidly stated that this work feels more like a personal documentary short rather than a globally released film.
The female protagonist in the film exhibits tremendous courage, while in real life, shooting such a movie also requires significant psychological preparation. Kidman has been eager to tackle controversial, edgy films since her youth, with the most representative being her collaboration with the renowned director Stanley Kubrick on “Eyes Wide Shut.” This film similarly explores the complexities of desire and marriage, as well as the moral gray areas, depicting the hedonism and emptiness of high society, which is still shocking to this day.
In her younger years, Kidman was the type of person who spent her days promoting films and then relaxed at clubs until the early hours of the morning. At that time, she was full of limitless possibilities, but as she aged, she found that her roles began to be limited at the age of forty. She once considered stepping back from the film industry, but ultimately chose to establish her own production company, teaming up with a group of talented women to create hits like “Big Little Lies,” carving out a new territory for herself and her fellow women.
Nicole Kidman is in her middle age, facing the challenges of her children leaving home and the death of her parents.
However, success in her career cannot help a person avoid life’s challenges. Now 57, Kidman is facing the hardships of her children becoming adults and her aging parents passing away, experiences that make her feel both fear and helplessness.
Kidman stated that in the face of the “irreversible” that inevitably comes in life, she felt a heavy sense of reality: “The inevitability of death. The connections between people. The sudden blows in life, as well as the burdens of losing parents, raising children, and managing a marriage, these shape you into someone who confronts life head-on. I am right in the midst of all this. Therefore, life—ah—is indeed a journey. As you grow older, you realize that every morning when you wake up at three, the nights when breathing is difficult, if you choose to face it rather than escape.” She emphasized that she is deeply immersed in and fully experiencing these emotions.
Even if I achieve success at work, I still wish my mom were by my side.
Kidman shared the struggle of losing a loved one. Recently, at the Venice Film Festival in Italy, the news of her winning the Best Actress award coincided with the devastating news of her mother’s passing. At that moment, her friend and colleague Reijn spoke on her behalf: “The intersection of life and art is heartbreaking, and my heart is also shattered.” At that moment, her emotions were impossible to hide, and the inner pain and loss were difficult to express.
In the interview, Kidman recalled with pain: “No matter how great my achievements at work, they cannot compare to my longing for my mother to be by my side.”
When Kidman’s father passed away in 2014, her children were still young. That experience made her realize, “When you are faced with the subject of death, it feels heavy. And when raising children, you think, I need to stay here, I want to see this all the way through. It is a painful yet incredibly touching and beautiful feeling.”
At that time, Kidman’s two daughters were only four and six years old. Because of their grandfather’s passing, she kept crying. The youngest daughter almost thought she was performing and asked her sister, “Is mom acting right now?”
The eldest daughter understands but naively asks, “Will you not be sad anymore by morning?” The little girl naturally does not comprehend the weight of life and death, but Kidman is reinvigorated by her daughter’s words. She states that even in the face of immense pain, when faced with daily life and children, she will quickly regain her strength and move forward. She understands that parents go first, then themselves, followed by the children; this is the natural process, “So if it happens, it is also a kind of blessing.”
Even if life is full of scars, perhaps we can still say, “I will give it my all.”
To be human requires incredible courage merely to live. We often face the choice of escaping or confronting, and Kidman chooses to face loss with courage. Her state of mind can perhaps be summarized in one sentence: “I give it my all.”
As she said, heartbreak and pain are unavoidable, but these experiences help us to understand the meaning and beauty of life more deeply. Although at times everything can feel terrifying, the beauty before us is enough to bring us comfort; this is a gift of life.
