Go Tokyo Your Experience
Lesson from Bad Emotions: The True Standards for Choosing a Mate
In the world of emotions, many people, including myself, have been trapped in endless waste of time and effort in “bad relationships”. We always hold onto hope, thinking that ‘what we encountered this time was good, maybe it will be the right one’, but in the end, we are disappointed time and time again. Is there no suitable partner left in the world, or is our perspective flawed?
Is it our problem or the world’s problem?
Every time a relationship fails, we cannot help but reflect: is it because there are no longer any so-called ‘good partners’ in this world, or is the problem fundamentally due to our own standards and perspectives? Sometimes, we blindly pursue certain external conditions while ignoring the intrinsic qualities possessed by those who truly suit us.
The secret to stable and happy relationships
Observing friends who are emotionally stable and happy, I found that their mate selection criteria are often different from what we imagine. Some traits, although not highly praised in mainstream society, are seen by those with discerning eyes as necessary conditions for choosing a spouse. Perhaps it is precisely because they know how to recognize these traits that they can avoid inappropriate emotions and find true happiness.
25 underestimated high-quality features
Recently, I came across an article on the Thought Catalog that listed ’25 undervalued high-quality features’. This list is not only applicable to romantic partners, but also to various relationships such as friends and colleagues. However, each one is almost a representative of potential stock targets. If we can recognize these traits, perhaps we can find the person who truly suits us faster in the vast sea of people.
1. People who apologize proactively after making mistakes, rather than those who require you to imply or demand.
Those who know how to take responsibility and bravely face mistakes usually bring you peace of mind and a sense of trust.
2. Don’t pretend to understand, don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Those who dare to be honest when they don’t understand possess the traits of truth and sincerity, and will not be hypocritical for the sake of face.
3. Willing to patiently answer ‘stupid questions’ and not be condescending.
A kind and tolerant attitude is an important quality in interpersonal communication, which can make people feel comfortable.
4. Able to express genuine thoughts, but in a gentle manner.
People with wisdom and emotional management abilities can make relationships more harmonious.
5. Have a gentle heart.
Tenderness is not weakness, but a strength that can bring more warmth and tolerance to relationships.
6. Passionate and humble.
A partner who loves life but is not arrogant can make people feel relaxed and happy.
7. People who love to express themselves through body language.
This open expression often makes communication more vivid and sincere.
8. Be good at listening.
People who are good at listening not only care about your words, but also about your inner feelings.
People who silently do things well.
Truly reliable people often don’t need to say much, they prove themselves with actions.
10. Whenever given the opportunity, they will generously praise others.
This positive attitude towards life can make people feel sincere appreciation and encouragement.
11. Someone who can teach you new things.
A person who is willing to share knowledge and constantly learn can inspire your growth.
12. Humorous but not harsh.
A sense of humor can make life full of joy, but well intentioned humor is the key to maintaining good relationships.
13. Be grateful and observant.
People who understand gratitude can see the beauty in life and cherish the efforts of others.
A friend who points out mistakes but does not make you feel ashamed.
True friends are those who help you grow, not those who make you feel ashamed.
15. The person who will hold the door for you during the date.
Regardless of gender, considerate behavior often reflects respect for others.
A boss who treats you equally as a ‘person’.
Equality and respect are the foundation for establishing good professional relationships.
17. Colleagues who often lend a helping hand.
A colleague who is willing to help is a rare partner in the workplace.
In the supermarket, meet strangers who smile at you.
Small acts of kindness often bring great warmth.
19. Do not force you to pursue a perfect mother.
A mother’s understanding and tolerance are often the greatest support in life.
20. Make an effort to get to know your father.
A father who is willing to enter your world will make you feel profound love and care.
21. A person who is full of respect and curiosity when talking to children.
This kind of person knows how to respect every individual, regardless of age.
22. Friends who stay after the event to help clean up.
A friend who is willing to share responsibility is a true partner in life.
23. Proactively ask new friends, ‘What can I bring?’.
This initiative demonstrates their concern and participation.
24. People who can share your favorite music.
Small actions can reflect attention to your interests.
25. Someone who makes you feel safe and not lonely.
This may be the most important trait, a person who can make you feel at ease is the one truly worth relying on.
Clear mate selection criteria are the foundation of happiness
Perhaps we have been lost in bad relationships, but through reflection and observation, we can find the truly valuable traits. This list reminds us not to be misled by appearances, but to use our hearts to discover those underestimated high-quality features. Those who truly care about and respect you are the ones worth your effort to manage. I believe that with the guidance of this list, we can all be wiser in our relationships and find the person who makes us feel happy.