Go Tokyo Your Experience
The ‘quiet melancholy’ after the age of 30: searching for oneself in ordinary life
30 years old is a turning point in many people’s lives. At this age, although life is stable, everything seems to be going according to the rhythm of society – going to and from work, having meals and dinners, and there are not too many fluctuations in daily life. However, perhaps you will also feel a faint emptiness and loss. Although life is free from storms, it still makes you feel insignificant, and sometimes you even feel that if you suddenly disappear, it doesn’t seem like you will leave too many traces in this world.
If you have a similar feeling, perhaps you are experiencing the ‘Quiet Depression’ that many 30-year-old people feel.
What is Quiet Depression?
Quiet Depression， Recently, it has attracted a lot of attention on social media platforms in Europe and America. This is not clinical depression that cannot be solved through diagnosis or medication, but it reflects a sense of powerlessness and hopelessness towards life. It does not have extreme symptoms of depression, but it is like a shadow that hangs over daily life.
This quiet melancholy often comes from growing older and realizing that one is getting farther and farther away from their past dreams. You used to be passionate about the future, but the shackles of reality gradually made you feel mediocre and powerless. You may have a stable job to support yourself and live a worry free life, but deep down, you always lack that kind of vitality and satisfaction.
Sense of mediocrity and sense of failure
The core of Quiet Depression often stems from a deep sense of ‘failure’. When we were young, we were full of ideals for the future, hoping for our dreams to come true and yearning for a perfect family and career. However, as time goes by, we gradually realize that these wishes are not so easy to achieve. Sometimes, even the dreams of the past become vague and unattainable.
Although these feelings may seem like ‘sick moans’, they actually reflect a reality: humans not only need to satisfy basic material needs, but also need to find a sense of meaning in life. When you realize that you are gradually drifting away from your past dreams, Quiet Depression quietly arrives, accompanied by a faint sadness.
Coexisting with Quiet Depression
By the age of 30, many people have learned to face reality and no longer complain about life. You may have accepted the ordinariness of reality and learned to coexist with this’ quiet melancholy ‘. However, despite appearing calm on the outside, the subtle sense of loss in your heart has never disappeared. You no longer have excessive expectations for happiness and have become accustomed to this calm pace of life.
How to get out of Quiet Depression?
Haruki Murakami once wrote in “Dance! Dance! Dance!”: “You must be a calm adult, not emotional, not secretly miss, not looking back. Live your own other life.” Although this passage carries a hint of inspiration, it also reveals an emotion that coexists with Quiet Depression: in the process of growing up, we gradually learn to face reality and accept that our past ideals may not be achievable.
However, the opposite of Quiet Depression may be redefining one’s desires and pursuing new goals. Although the dreams of youth may seem distant, as an adult with broader horizons, you can set your own wishes that are more in line with your current stage. This wish does not have to rely on societal standards, but rather needs to align with one’s true inner self.
Redefine wishes and find new directions
The frontline redemption of Quiet Depression may lie in resetting one’s goals and getting rid of the obsession with past dreams. Childhood wishes are often naive and simple. As adults, we have gained more experience and knowledge, and should learn to set more realistic and feasible goals for ourselves, rather than continuing to pursue ideals that are no longer suitable for the present.
In this process, gradually adjusting expectations for life and finding one’s own rhythm may be the key to getting rid of Quiet Depression. By re examining one’s life and finding new passion and meaning, Quiet Depression may gradually dissipate and be replaced by a more peaceful and fulfilling life experience.
30 years old is not necessarily a frustrating turning point, but an opportunity to rediscover oneself. If you are feeling that faint sense of powerlessness, try adjusting your mindset and finding your own new goals and pursuits. In this way, you may be able to rediscover your passion and satisfaction for life, and find new meaning in the ordinary.