Go Tokyo Your Experience
From ‘Strong Women’ to ‘Self Feeding’ Girls: Learning to Truly Love Yourself
In the past decade, I have been living with the goal of becoming a ‘strong woman’, making career and love the center of my life, and pursuing the so-called ‘perfect balance’. However, it was not until recently that I truly saw myself and realized that the label of a strong woman is not the only answer. After shedding the heavy label of being a “strong woman”, I realized that what is more desirable is actually the life of a “self feeding” girl.
This journey is long and full of challenges, but I have no regrets. If you have been feeling exhausted lately, it may be time to let go of the external pressure and start loving yourself well.
The society’s admiration for ‘strong women’ is ubiquitous. The media regards women who excel in their careers, families, and appearance as role models, and social media influencers also showcase their “perfect” lives. I used to be a part of this kind of ‘success story’ – with clear goals, working hard, and constantly striving for my career. I once fantasized about becoming a woman like Victoria Beckham, with a successful career, happy love, and everything.
I define myself by my achievements in career and love: the satisfaction of promotion and dating an older, successful boyfriend make me feel like I have achieved my life goal of being a ‘strong woman’. At that time, I thought that with a high salary and stable relationship, I was enough to occupy a place in the world of strong women.
The Impact of the Epidemic and the Pressure of Forced Marriage: The Collapse of Strong Women
However, life did not go as smoothly as I had imagined. During the epidemic, the company laid off employees, and although I received a salary increase, my workload skyrocketed, and my body began to show various warning signs. At the same time, my boyfriend started pushing for marriage and was eager to have a child, while I was not prepared to become a mother at all.
From the outside world, my life seems perfect: successful career and stable relationships. But my heart has already been crushed by exhaustion and pressure. I finally understand that I am not as powerful as I imagined, and the aura of a strong woman is just an illusion imposed on me by the outside world.
Resignation and Self Reconstruction: Becoming a ‘Self Feeding’ Girl
After that painful struggle, I made a major decision: resign, return to my hometown, and break up with my boyfriend. I started taking on some freelance jobs, and my income became one-third of what it used to be, and my life became simpler. I accompanied an old cat and started taking care of myself again, listening to my inner voice.
During this process, I gradually transformed into a ‘self feeding’ girl. This identity is completely different from that of a “strong woman”: I no longer use career or relationships as criteria to judge my own value, but rather like keeping a pet, giving myself what I need and caring for myself anytime, anywhere.
When I am full of energy, I will take on more work; When I feel tired, I will also decisively push away meaningless tasks, and even go backpacking alone. For me, dating a man is no longer about getting married and having children, but about enjoying the present moment of life.
Be brave to be yourself: a ‘self feeding’ girl who breaks free from external labels
Although I have reached a certain height in my career in the past, I have also lost myself in the maze of strong women. On the surface, it seems strong, but in reality, it is fragile inside. Once it encounters setbacks, it quickly collapses, but it dare not show its true emotions in front of others. At that time, I even had to hide in places where others couldn’t see when I cried.
Nowadays, I have found that ‘self feeding’ girls are actually braver. They are not bound by external labels, whether they are “leftover women” or “spoiled dogs”, they can no longer affect my emotions. This kind of life makes my heart more fulfilled and I live a more relaxed and comfortable life.
Give yourself more love: true beauty comes from within
It is worth mentioning that women who understand self love and self-care often become more beautiful. Now I pay more attention to my own needs than before, and have learned to listen to my inner self, which has made me radiate confidence and radiance from within.
If you feel exhausted from life, try giving yourself more love. Whether it’s career, relationships, or various pressures in life, learning to love oneself is the key to maintaining happiness.